Summer 2014

Well, I have this blog and don’t really post too much. I’m going to start to change that and try my damnedest to post something everyday. So, strap yourself in cause this journey is about to take off. Prepare yourself for the twists and turns of what I call my day to day life.

Well, let me start off with a brief run down of my past summer. I will start off over the Memorial Day Weekend, I started what I plan to have as a long line of Veteran themed fundraiser’s thru my alternate persona (Sister Mariposa Patriota). Sister Mariposa along with the help of the Los Angeles Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence took over the Bullet Bar in North Hollywood on a Sat night, for an event called Remembering Our Heroes. The event was a huge success, raising money and awareness for Homeless Veterans in Los Angeles County, and brought in over $800 which stayed locally and helped those in need. Im trying to coordinate another repeat for November around Veterans Day, and will definitely be repeating the Memorial Day Weekend next year.

I usually also put on an LGBT Military Ball as Sister Mariposa over the 4th of July Weekend, however it was decided that it would be postponed to a later date this year, or might skip this year. I was looking at holding this event at Cobra in North Hollywood which would have been the 3rd Annual. The first year we did the LGBT Military Ball at Oil Can Harry’s in Studio City, and the 2nd (last year) at Ripples in Long Beach. I’ll keep y’all posted when the details start to firm up…

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had been interested and involved in a complicated friendship/relationship. The guy I thought was someone I could really see myself being close with, either as a friend or more. Well towards the beginning of summer he dropped me to move to North Carolina with a guy he met online, and of course it didn’t work out. I tried to be there for him the best I could all the while try and keep my own life in balance. I failed and he recently told me I was a jerk for giving him space to get his life in order on his own terms, while I battled my own demons of depression and other personal problems. I’m I was not there to drop everything and be there like I had before, but I had to take care of myself for a change. Sorry he decided to end our friendship, however I wish him the best. I will always have a spot for him in my heart and will be checking up on him from afar even tho he blocked me from his social media.

As mentioned earlier, this summer was a tough one for me. Usually Vets with PTSD have boughts of depression during the summer and the holidays, with the holiday season the worse of the two. However, for me it always is the summer as the worse. I dunno why, maybe its the heat or something in the air or water, but the summer hits me really hard. This year it did so extra hard, think it could be since I’m still unemployed, or haven’t really dated in years… I was on the verge of losing it and started to contemplate checking into the VA psych ward, as I was starting to have thoughts of giving up on everything. Was hoping that I would fall asleep and simply not wake up. Then everything changed over the 4th of July Weekend.

That weekend I was one the apps and had come across the profile of this one guy in Hollywood. We had been chatting for two weeks I think and agreed to meet up towards the end of the weekend and see what was up. As two gay men meeting via a phone dating app, you can imagine what we were looking to get into, however we talked and played a lil. Then agreed to meet up again. Well that was two and half months ago, and we still are talking. We haven’t really given it a label and are not in a hurry to either. If asked I would say we are dating and getting to know each other. We both have the idea to get to know each other and become close friends before we make things official. With that being said I’m not going to disclose who he is just yet, however for future reference I will use the psuedoname of Muscle Cub when I refer to him in a post. Like any other couple we have our moments of love and moments of disagreements & misunderstanding. Hell, this relationship, whatever it is, is still in the early stages and we somehow make it work. He is 33 bodybuilder, half Puerto Rican & half Arabic, a perfect combination cause he is a sweetheart and very passionate. He’s also going to school full-time and works full-time so we don’t get to spend much time together during the week. However, he’s determined to finish school and be the best man he can be. We try to schedule time together during the weekend. He also has met Sister Mariposa and is ok with her. In the past when I tried to date, guys would freak out when they found out we were a package deal & would either say they weren’t interested or simply disappear. However, the Muscle Cub is supportive of the work she does, something I find very much a turn on. I’ve even met his family recently and they love me and make feel welcomed & at home. Been spending time with them during the week while he’s at work, helping his mom go on errand runs, and must say she makes some fabulous food. She’s trying to fatten me up I think…

So far things are off to a good gradual start. Who knows maybe the Muscle Cub is the guy I will take home to Momma. If he is then I may definitely get to have that magical wedding I always dreamed of. For now we will take it one day at a time and see how it goes. We both aren’t perfect, and have had some rough times in our pasts and we are working through our hang ups.

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