This morning while browsing my Facebook feed I happened to stumble across a post about Sia’s newest video “The Greatest” being released as a tribute to the victims of the Orlando Massacre this past June. After watching the video I was moved to share my thoughts with y’all. Yes this was a tragedy that will forever scare our country and the community I call my family. The LGBT Community has been my adopted family since my coming out, and when I woke-up that Sunday morning to hear about the shooting, my world was turned completely upside down. That was supposed to be a morning of celebration, of triumph, since we as a community had overcome may adversities in the past few years, and were a more unified and stronger community. That was the morning of the LA LGBT Pride Parade, and our celebration was put on hold so to speak to mourn the losses of those precious souls who were taken from us just a few hours before. I along with thousands of others had to make a decision, to stay home in fear that we too could be attacked or continue with the celebration, in honor of all those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice so we could celebrate pride. As the history books will read, we as a community came together and stood strong, unified, saying we will not back down out of fear, or give in to terrorist threats. We fought long and hard for the rights we have and will celebrate our PRIDE in memory of those we have lost.
I will never forget that day, especially when I could have been a victim that morning of 12 June 2016, as the LA Pride Parade was threatened by a disturbed man in Santa Monica. Thanks to the efforts of the local authorities the terrorist was arrested and the attack prevented. Despite recommendations from the Sheriff’s Dept and local officials, we didn’t cancel the parade, we stepped up our guard and continued as planned. Many of us scared, many of us hurt, and many of us mad. I can say I was truly mad that this type of tragedy can still happen in today’s society, a society where we claim to be tolerant of one another. A society where two men can live their life in peace and not fear another threatening to harm or kill them for living the life the choose.
Recently, the people of Southern Florida were under threat once again by another disturbed man who was to face trial this afternoon however was postponed due to health problems. This man had been making threats on Social Media that he was going to carry out an attack on LGBT men & women over the Labor Day Weekend. A week after the posts the FBI was able to locate and arrest the man before he could carry out any of his threats and Facebook was able to remove the posts and close the man’s accounts.
Over the past few months since the tragedy in Orlando there had been other similar attacks on various groups in Florida, Mexico and other locations killing at least 125 Americans and injuring 269 by gun-violence. Nearly 300 victims of gun-violence in America, I can’t believe this. In a country where we are supposed to be safe of violence such as this, however we have the highest rates of gun-violence than any other country in the world. Gun Violence Archive (GVA) reports that in 2016, to-date, there has been 38,254 incidents of gun-violence, 9,820 deaths, 451 Child related incidents (0-11), 2,117 teenager related incidents (12-17), and 263 mass shootings. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my children or relatives to live in a society that will allow this to happen, and not do anything to protect us, to protect our children. I urge who ever reads this to reflect of these numbers, to remember the tragedies of this past year, and previous years and hold our politicians accountable. This is an election year after all, and many of our leaders are bidding for election and re-election. Demand that we as a society prevent our children from growing up in a world where they can be killed for loving someone, to be killed for enjoying a night our with friends, to be killed walking down the street. Write letters, make phone calls, don’t let the conversation stop, and always remember those who we have lost.
“Spread Love, Not Hate”
Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 years old
Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
Cory James Connell, 21 years old
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 years old
Christopher “Drew” Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
KJ Morris, 37 years old
Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
Luis Daniel Lestat Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
Jerald “Jerry” Arthur Wright, 31 years old
Below are the videos of tribute to those precious 49 that i found online, there are many more, but i share these with you here to help you remember…
Sia – The Greatest
“Hands” – A Song for Orlando
Stop the Hate: 49 Celebrities Honor 49 Victims of Orlando Tragedy in Ryan Murphy-Produced Tribute
Christina Aguilera – Change (Lyric Video)
Jennifer Lopez, Lin-Manuel Miranda – Love Make the World Go Round (Lyric Video)
“Forty-Nine Times” – Brandon Parsons
“PULSE” by Eli Lieb and Brandon Skeie
Rick Haze – One Pulse ft. Julian Velez
“Broadway for Orlando”: The Exclusive Music Video
Melissa Etheridge – Pulse
Adam Lambert – Outlaws of Love
Janet Jackson – Shoulda Known Better
Elton John’s Tribute to Orlando
Lady Gaga honors Orlando victims at Los Angeles vigil | LA LGBT Center
I am honored to be in the audience for this appearance by Lady Gaga.
I’m been meaning to post this for a month now, so I apologize for the delay. You’ll see why soon enough…
As many of y’all know, I made a recent trip home to visit family and friends in the Great State of Texas. I’d you’re new troop my lil corner of cyberspace, Welcome and Yes, I am originally from Texas. Not just Texas in general, but the part where they like to be called South Texas. A lil history, grew up in a small town, then a population of a lil more than 21,000, with a family farm where I spent the majority of my life being about 15-20 mins out of town. We lived about a mile or 2 off the main highway and at least 10 mins to the nearest convenience store / gas station.
Ok now that you got a lil picture of my upbringing, I had originally planned to make a trip home for a family reunion over the 4th of July weekend, A few months before I book my travel my mother informs me of a second reunion the following weekend. So, I make the appropriate plans to stay in my hometown of Kingsville, TX from the 1st til the 17th. A llllllloooonnnng time since I haven’t made the trip home in nearly 3 years. When I first moved to LA I tried to go home at least once a year, but for the past few years money has been really tight and simply couldn’t afford the trip. So ya, here I start to prepare myself for the boredom and not to mention the humid Texas summer heat. Well, a week or two after I booked the flight, and reserved my rental car, I get a call from mom to say that the second reunion was cancelled due to a tornado that came thru town. Needless to say I was mortified, first to hear about a tornado ripping thru my lil hometown, then the thought of my plans were now ruined. What was I going to do? Especially now that I had even more free time to steam under the Texas Sun in a town I had out grown many years ago.
I get on my phone and the fabulous social media websites we love such as Facebook, Skype and Google Chat and look up my old friends. I was relieved to be able to keep in touch over the years and with the help of my childhood friends plan to split the time between my hometown when a few trips into Corpus Christi and my previous home before LA, San Antonio. Corpus Christi is about 45 mins to and hour from mom’s house in Kingsville. (A lil side note, many know Corpus as the home of the famous Selena, or as the movie put it Selenas.) Living in LA that’s a normal daily commute for most, but back home people travel that far once a week or less.
I’m in Corpus Christi / Kingsville reconnecting with family and friends I haven’t seen in years, some since before I left to the Army, right after Highschool, while others I hadn’t seen in a few years, and some we stay in not so moderate communication. One thing I learned while home was mom still is seeing her “friend” and now lives with him and the guys father, has finally left being a slave for Wal-Mart, however recently became one for another giant corporation, McDonald’s. I’m sorry, but I simply am not happy about that, not one bit. She claims to be doing alright, but I’m worried beyond belief about her well-being.
Fast forward 10 days of spending it at mom’s house with her and the “roommates” and I’m off to spend the last week of my trip in San Antonio, catching up with a few long time friends from when I used to call the Alamo / River City home. I got to spend most of this time catching up with my besties Vanessa and Andres. Even talked briefly with Andres about the possibility of moving back home to TX some day. He even offered to let me stay on his ranch, just a few miles outside San Antonio, ’till I got established. One big perk is he also is a dog trainer, so I’ll have access to his pack of dogs which is a big plus since I loved spending time with them while he was at work. See my facebook page for their pictures.
The afternoon of the 17th, I started my travels back home to LA. On the plane, in the airport and for a few weeks I pondered this trip and evaluated it from nearly every angle I could think of. And I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to return back to TX to help take care of mom. I really don’t have anything other than my volunteer work holding me here and I can still do that from there and commute every month or so for board meetings and events. Definitely got to fulfill my obligations with LA Leather Pride.
So, it’s official. I know what some of you are saying… “Didn’t you say a few months ago that, LA is home and you will never leave.” Yes, that statement is still true and I do consider LA my second home. However, I am Momma’s baby boy, and I feel I have some business to take care of back home in Texas. When will this all happen? Not sure to say, but sometime within the next few months. One thing’s for sure I want to be home by the early part of 2017, at the latest. First, I have some obligations and responsibilities that I would like to complete and/or pass on to a capable person. At least during my tenure with the LA Leather Coalition, I will be commuting to LA to remain an active member of the Board and to remain active with the planning for LA Leather Pride. This will also allow me to keep some participation with other groups such as ONYX, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and AVER. I will of course be stepping down at the end of this year as President of the AVER’s Greater LA Chapter, only completing one year of the current term, sadly I feel it is only fair. The President is a extremely active role and I can’t do that from Texas, commuting or remotely. It wouldn’t be right, so sadly I informed their Board of my intentions to step down, effective Dec 31,2016. I’m wishing them well and will be a phone call away if they need my help, while they use this time to revitalize and restructure the group. I definitely don’t see them going away with my departure. LA has many LGBT Veterans and AVER is the only organization to represent them in the region, and currently the only active chapter on the West Coast. I’m not going to transfer to the Texas Chapter for AVER or the San Antonio Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence right away as I’m going to try and stay active from afar as long as possible. Eventually I will transfer to their respective local Chapters.
So there you have it, my Two Weeks Under The Texas Sun has changed my life. You can say it is for the best, since I’m going to be closer to mom in this tough time. You can say it face me the fever. How long will this move be for? Not sure, could be for a few years to get mom in a comfortable place, or could be permanent. I’m leaving that to the universe. To be quite honest, I’m terrified. I know it will be some getting used to, especially since I’m accustomed to the luxuries and perks of living in a big metropolitan, like LA. But, I’m sure all will be fine and I’m get accustomed to living amongst gun toting Republicans in no time.
Now that children is something I’ll leave for another time. I grew up around guns however then have new “open carry” laws in Texas. Come back for story time, and we’ll discuss that topic there. Until next time, peace & love to you all!
As I sit here surrounded by the executive leadership of the California Veteran Community. It’s day 2 of the CalVet Leadership Summit, a gathering of the Senior and Executive Level leaders of US Dept. of Veterans Affairs, CA Veterans Affairs, the County VSOs, DAV, American Legion, Vietnam Veterans of America, Swords to Plowshares, VetFund Foundation, other Veteran Service Organizations from around the state. I’ve never seen every VA Medical Center and Regional Office, and County VSO in one room at the same time. The newly appointed CalVet Secretary, Dr Vito Imbasciani MD called this summit to identify barriers faced by the Veterans of California and create strategies and alliances to better serve the Veterans. The Secretary and other leaders have set a tone of leaving politics and agendas at the door.
I was asked to attend and represent the LGBT Veterans in the State. The timing of this Summit couldn’t have been more perfect. I was laid off from my position at VOA as a Peer Support Specialist in the HUD-VASH Program due to lack of funding. With my experience of being an underemployed and homeless Veteran I have an insight in the struggles of the Veterans that most of these leaders don’t know first hand. At first I asked myself why am I here? I don’t belong in this room surrounded by these executives with travel budgets and resources to give up a week to travel to the Capitol. However, some how The gods smiled down on me and made this opportunity possible.
When I return back to LA, I’ll be using the contacts made here to plan the upcoming Operation: Do Ask, Do Tell 2016 and establish resources and programs for the Veterans in LA, and possibly find a new position working to continue to serve LGBT Veterans not only in LA but across the State.
In just a short few days, will be the Los Angeles Leather Pride Week’s official launch. What does this mean for LA? Well, let me fill you in on what’s happening behind the scenes to kick-off the largest leather gathering on the West Coast. Los Angeles Leather Pride is produced by the Los Angeles Leather Coalition (LALC) and celebrates the Mr. LA Leather Contest, a regional leather title, for the Greater LA Area. The LALC has member organizations (bars & clubs) from all over Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and Long Beach that come together to pull off this annual momentous series of events that highlight LA’s diverse more ‘adult’ side of the community.
This year, LA Leather Pride – “Bound” is spread out over 10 days! Yes! Here in LA we don’t do small things! While most cities celebrate their Mr. or Ms. Leather Contest over a weekend or a even a day, here in LA we celebrate the coveted Mr. LA Leather title over an entire week! This year in celebration of the accomplishments of the current Mr. LA Leather, Patrick Smith we added 3 pre-parties before the Official Kick Off. Shortly after wining the title last spring, Patrick went on to snatch the sash & title of International Mr. Leather 2015. It’s hard to keep up with him these days, but he is out there taking the titles to new heights, literally. He has traveled to far off lands where most of us only read about in the news, places where you can be killed for being “GAY”! This lil Canadian, turned Angeleno didn’t care about the warnings and used his title for good, visiting places such as Uganda, Egypt and the Ukraine. The LALC is so excited about the accomplishments of Patrick that they added a 3rd beneficiary to this year’s festivities, Sexual Minorities Uganda. To learn about all 3 of this year’s beneficiaries, click here. While you are out there strutting your stuff in your hottest leather couture, think about all the gabbies in Uganda that you are helping. I ask you, what other city celebrates Leather and the BDSM lifestyle on a global stage? LA, yes I said it! Los Angeles does and IS leading the way! Hoorah to LA, Patrick Smith and the LALC for all that is planned for this year’s LA Leather Pride Week 2016.
Be sure to visit www.laleatherpride.com to get your tickets & packages! They even labeled their Packages after the hanky code, how fun! Are you man/woman enough to flag Orange?
You can get the LA Leather Mobile App by visiting www.lalpapp.com from your mobile device, its the only way to stay in the know and be ahead of the crowd on what’s happening.
LA Leather Pride 2017 – “Code:LA” is promising to will be even bigger with the addition of Ms. LA Leather to the roster of events, from 23 March – 2 April 2017. Mark your calendars and prepare for a game changer.
The Official Kick-Off to LA Leather Pride is Snow Bound at Faultine on Easter Sunday, March 27, 2016. Yes, that’s right in true Hollywood style the Faultline and its staff will be transforming their parking lot into a winter wonderland. With imported snow, leathermen from around the world, the contests riding bitch-style on motorcycles, and more snow.
Location: Faultline, 4216 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90029
Date & Time: Sun, 27 March 2016; 2:00p-7:00p
Cover: $10 Official Event Also part of Orange & Gray Hanky Packages
On Tuesday, get out on the dance floor and show us your two-step at the Leather Rodeo, hosted by Caleb Engen, Mr. Oil Can Harry’s Leather 2016 & Jeremy Ronceros, Former Mr. Oil Can Harry’s Leather. This is sure to be a fun filled night of laughs and tight pants, oh my!
Location: Oil Can Harry’s, 11502 Ventura Blvd, Studio City,CA 91604
Want to rub elbows with the who’s who of the leather community? Well, then you want to be at the Invite-Only VIP Cocktail Reception. This event will have all the Contestants, Judges, Sponsors, the LA 30, and the select few who purchase the Orange Hanky. Come have a cocktail in out intimate setting before it all goes down at the contest.
Location: Bullet Bar,10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601
Date & Time: Wed, 30 March 2016; 5:00p-8:00p
Cover: N/A Official Event Can only gain entry with Orange Hanky Package
The Men of ONYX have a long history of bringing the best dance parties to Leather Gatherings around the Country. The new ONYX SoCal/Southwest Chapter is joining that linage and will be bringing you some of LA’s hottest men for their first dance party. If their monthly beer bust at Eagle every 2nd Sunday is anything to gauge what they are capable, this sure is to be a night you definitely don’t want to miss.
Location: Precinct, 357 S Broadway Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90013
This is two events in one as things start to get serious. The Meet & Greet will be the place for the Contestants and the Key-Players are introduced to the World in a Cock-Tail Party before it all gets real with the Roast of Patrick Smith. Come out and have a few laughs as we get ready to crown a new Mr. LA Leather 2016.
Location: Precinct, 357 S Broadway Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90013
Date & Time: Wed, 30 March 2016; 9:00p-2:00a
Cover: $5 Official Event Also part of Orange & Gray Hanky Packages
On Thursday March 31, we bring you the official rubber/Fetish gear party for Los Angeles Leather Pride 2016. You are bound to Rub1Out. This party will be a sexy slick event, and is expected to be a hot and kinky time. There will be no fundraising, no raffles, just a dark bar only lit in red, there will be hot go go boys in rubber, a DJ to spin some dark electronic music, and hot men everywhere. this is a event designed by Fetish lovers, and made for men to meet, hook up, and live their fetishes. Rubber, Neoprene, Latex, PVC, and hot gear encouraged! If you don’t have that stuff, come in a harness, or something that makes you feel sexy.
Location: Bullet Bar,10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601
Come out to Rough Trade Gear in Silver Lake on Friday the 1st for an evening of food, cocktails, fun and some of the hottest men in uniform to be found in the Southland! Wear your best uniform gear, and bring out some serious energy for a fantastic Friday night.
Strict Dress Code Enforced: Formal Dress or Full Dress; Military, Law Enforcement, Fire Prevention Utility or Dress Club; Leather Replica Uniform; Formal Leather. Civilian Attire: Black Tie Optional, Coat & Tie. Since it’s a formal event, please no fatigues / combat or work uniforms.
Location: Rough Trade Gear, 3915 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90029
Date & Time: Fri, 1 April 2016; 7:00p-9:00p
Cover: $25 Official Event Also part of the the Orange Hanky Package
Join the guys from Dog Pound as they put on their awesome puppy party at The Bullet.
Leather Dog Pound is back as the Official Pup Play Party of Los Angeles Leather Pride 2016. During the week long LA Leather Pride celebration, theres only one place to get your ‘pups all riled up, and that’s the Bullet Bar, home of Dog Pound!
Hosted by L.A. Pup 2016, Pup Zero. Ashtray Kain and Dan Lovell, this April Fools Day will be one for the cats!
APRIL FOOLS! It’s still one for the pups, but we will be honoring our handlers. Because what is a pup with out a handler? Both roles are important, and both must be celebrated. So let’s celebrate our pride in those that hold our leashes!
Bring your boys.
Bring your leather.
Let’s f***ing play.
Commemorative Leather Dog Pound 2016 pins will be available!
Location: Bullet Bar,10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601
UNBOUND – LA LEATHER PRIDE 2016 NastyKinkPigs.com & Avatar LA Bring you: UNBOUND Fri Night, April 1st, 2016 • 9pm-3am Prepare for a night of Dark Beats & Dirty Men! DJ EUROSTEVE Live Performance by Aarin Asker Gear Code: Biker • Jock • Rubber • Leather • Sport • Skin • Puppy • Muscle Bear • Military Location: 333 Live 333 S. Boylston St Los Angeles, CA 90017 21+
Location: 333 Live, 333 S. Boylston St, Los Angeles, CA 90017
Are you wondering where all the women are at during LAL week? Are you thinking of attending the Mr. Los Angeles Leather Contest but are wondering how to connect with anyone other than the 2,000 men in attendance?
Ms. Los Angeles Leather is hosting a pre-contest meet-up downtown where you and your friends, dates, play partners, etc. can come socialize have a drink, or a bite to eat and meet other women, gender queer, and gender nonconforming folks prior to the contest.
If you are new, this is an excellent opportunity to meet your local titleholders, and other members of the community or just have fun with that person you’ve been chatting up on Grindr, Fet, FB or Tinder
Location: The Falls Lounge, 626 Spring St, Los Angeles, CA 90014
The Main Event you have been ooozzziiinnggg with anticipation for! All 10 Contestants bare their souls and bodies for the LA Leather Judges to select the next Mr. LA Leather 2016. Who is your favorite(s)? Come cheer them on and witness LA History in the making. Then stay for Legion, both event for one ticket! LA’s thrifty like that!
Location: Globe Theater, 740 S Broadway, Los Angeles,CA90014
Date & Time: Sat, 2 April 2016; 6:00p-10:00p
Cover: $30-Advance / $40-Door Official EventAlso part of Orange & Gray Hanky Packages
Brought to you by LA super-producers Hunter Fox & Justin David, LEGION brings you the hottest DJ’s & State-of-the-art Lighting to create one hot party. If you like your dance floor filled with wall to wall sweaty guys in leather, than this is for you! And the best part, your ticket is good for BOTH the dance AND the Mr. LA Leather Contest before.
Location: Globe Theater, 740 S Broadway, Los Angeles,CA90014
Date & Time: Sat, 2 April 2016; 10:00p-3:00a
Cover: $30-Advance / $40-Door Official Event Also part of Orange & Gray Hanky Packages
DJ SHANE STIEL spins Sat. Night (Sun. Morn) APRIL 3rd
Our 1 – Year Anniversary @ Los Globs
Leather Pride Weekend After Hours (After LEGION)
REFLEX Dancers & Dungeon Areas
BAR OPENS 6am
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All Events FUNKtion ONE Sound
Doors Open @ 2am (Downstairs) til’ 8am for Leather Pride
Los Globos Event Space | 3040 Sunset Blvd.
$15 Adv. Tix @ http://www.flavorus.com/event/REFLEX-Shane-Stiel-Leather-Pride/318093
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Produced by the Reflex Team
EVENT & GRAPHIC DESIGN: Michael Patrick
BOOKINGS: HRM Jonathan Chang
LIGHTS: Sean Ward
TECH: “Tattoo” Chris Perry
PR: Benjamin Dubois
DOOR: Victor Hugo
FLOOR: Steward & Yar
VIDEO: Jeremy Beard
INK: Marky Make-UP
PICS: Iggy Lopez & Thuc Win
MASSAGE & COAT CHECK: Brent Raymond
Now that I’m using the Metro again to get around I can’t help but use the time to sit in somewhat quiet, especially if I’m using my headphones, and ponder the great many questions about life. This morning was nothing different, given I was half asleep and we got stuck in the tunnel on the East LA extension of the Gold Line.
With the upcoming LGBT Veteran Event I’m producing at Patriotic Hall, I have many things going on upstairs and have difficulty concentrating on anything for any extended period with out my mind drifting over to the planning and coordination of the event. If you have no clue what ever I’m referring to, please visit http://op-dadt.aver-gla.org and educate yourself.
Any who, between thinking about if certain political leaders have confirmed attendance and where I will be placing the many service providers, I took a moment to enjoy the scenery. And did I ever…. There was this stocky Latino standing across from me, and this guy was a looker. I found myself studying him, the way he was dressed, how his head was freshly shaved, the artwork and possible meaning behind his tatts, how he carried himself, how he walked across the platform, how he shifted his weight when standing. OK, I’ll admit I was starring, but I tried not to make it overtly obvious that I was. I tried to camflauge my stares by looking down at my phone. And, I ask you what would you be doing in my shoes?
I bring this up cause I finally came to the realization that this is the “type” of guy that gets my attention and I find the most attractive. I know, how cliche… Listen up, I have dated many “types” and races, even sexes… And no not just a typical man and woman, I’ll let that fester for a min………… When I’m asked what is my “type” I always say, I don’t have one and that I like all kinds of guys, but at times Latin guys get my attention most of all.
So, this morning while being stuck in the tunnel I came to realize that I truly have a infatuation, you can say with Latinos. Not just any Latinos, I like the “type” of guy that looks unapproachable, but is a giant teddy bear, the guy with a shaved head or a very tight fade, dark brown skin and tattoos. Tattoos and modest body jewelry make any man extra attractive in my book. For the most part, it has to be tasteful and public friendly. Sometimes the gang tatts make me wanna sit on the guy’s face… OMG, did that just come out? Sorry Mom, I know you’re probably reading this. I’m just being candid and honest. Hell, this my personal blog, and if you’re a new reader thanks for checking me out. Consider yourself warned that there will be times were I throw caution to the wind and let you have it!
Well there you have it, that’s what I like, and upon reflection has been the “type” of guy I have dated or even been with the past few years… If you find this type to be scary or is a trouble maker, that is not always the case. I have found that every “type” has its problems, you have to be willing to give everyone at least a chance, you never know what may be right in front of you. I will close on this thought, my “type” of man has proven to have been the best provider and caretaker, and one hell of a lover! 😜
For the past 6 months to a year, I have been taking time to concentrate on myself and get on a better path. 2014 was one hell of a year, I’m telling you the struggle was definitely real. 2014, marked 10 years since I was kicked out of the one job I truly loved. I was discharged under the former Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy for loving a man, right after being given a medal for going to war and fighting along side my brothers and sisters. Subconsciously the anniversary of getting kicked out of the Army for being gay was really hitting me hard, and for a long time I was cutting myself off and would stay in bed for weeks on end. Not good, I know.. Trust me it was not a cute time…
I thought that 2015 would be off to a good start and it started off rough. For a few month my home life was not stable and in July I ended up becoming one of the many Homeless Veterans in LA County. Let me back track a lil…
One great thing happened in March, I met a great guy. For privacy let’s just call him, Pup. Pup and I had been friends for several years and on Easter went on our first date. We started dating and a month later we were out eating Tacos at La Estrella in Highland Park and he asked if I wanted to be his boyfriend. Of course I said yes.
Things with Pup were off to a fabulous start then about a month and half ago we hit a rough patch. I noticed he started spending more time with his friends and when we were spending time together we we weren’t as engaged with each other as we were. This also happened right around the time I became homeless. One could say it was after the honeymoon stage while others would say we weren’t meant to be. I not sure what happened but I can tell you I still care deeply about Pup, hell I still love him. So, a week ago we were out having pie and I confronted him about this and was asking for a little more attention, I wanted to feel loved. With becoming homeless and trying to figure out life in general I was feeling alone and defeated. Come to find out he claimed to be distant due to my PTSD, I was too reserved and closed off. I have trouble with intimacy and letting anyone get to know me. I am working on it, however who ever wants to be with me has be willing to go with the ups and downs of living with a Combat Veteran. Gurrrrl, The struggle is real & the devil is a lie! I tell you it can be rough but if you work it out, it can be one of the best loving relationships you will ever have.
Well we parted ways and it hit me really hard. I lost one of the only good things I had going for me. But you do what you can and roll with the punches. Well, a few days later my buddy the Muscle Cub and I started chatting again. Last year we had went out a few times and when my home life started to fall apart we parted ways but stayed in contact.
This weekend we both were talking and we both have lots of things we are working on and think it might be beneficial to work together and accomplish our life goals. He even asked if I’d be interested in setting down and us eventually become a married couple. I’m seriously considering it, I have been single way to long and would love to have someone to come home to after a long day at work. It will be nice to share a bed & home with someone I care about, and cares about me. It will be nice to even live with a man that might be interested in starting a family some day, a few dogs, few fish, and even a lil clicking baby or two… You never know…
So there it is, I might be getting married to my best friend. All this right after starting a new job as a VA Contractor a few weeks ago and getting approved for the VA’s Section 8 Program last week. Things are starting to finally look up. It’s true what they say, “One Door Closes, Another Door Opens.”
That’s that, know it is alot to process, will keep y’all posted on how things unfold over next few months. It might be a Christmas wonderland wedding…
Today will definitely be a day I will remember. I witnessed the decision of the US Supreme Court that Marriage Equality is now legal in all 50 States. Since moving to California in 2007 I have seen much change that impact my community. I first witnessed Marriage Equality in CA, only to have it taken away by the electorate a few months later. Then came the Repeal of DADT, then Marriage Equality again in CA along with the finding of DOMA as unconstitutional. I even witnessed my home State of Texas, fight a legal battle to limit my rights if i ever chose to move back home, all because I am an openly gay man. I put my live on the line by going to war for this country to be kicked out of the Military for loving a man, and then to be told I am a second-class citizen for the same reason. However, today I am overwhelmed with joy that my rights and freedoms are restored. That someday, hopefully soon, I can share in the happiness of marrying the man I love, just like every other citizen. That in the eyes of the Federal Government and each of the 50 States, I am to never be seen as a second-class citizen.
The fight in not over! Until my fellow LGBT Brothers and Sisters are afforded full and equal status, and treatment by the VA, DOD and other government agencies & communities, the work for Equality must go on. Today is a day of celebration on this victory. AVER and myself will keep watch to make sure that full equality comes and is never taken away.
Earlier today i wrote the official Statement for AVER-GLA congratulating my fellow Brothers and Sisters on our Marriage Equality Victory. The full text can be found here.
This morning marked a monumentous milestone in the history of LGBT Equality. The US Supreme Court issued a landmark decision on Marriage Equality yet again in the OBERGEFELL v HODGES (No. 14-556) stating that it is unconstitutional to ban marriage to same-sex couples and cited the Fourteenth Amendment that no State shall “deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.” This 5-4 decision in affect enforces the 2014 U.S v Windsor (No. 12–307) which declared that the Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was unconstitutional. Around the Country, civil liberty groups are celebrating years of fighting to be considered as everyday citizens and not a sub-set of the population. Before today, 37 States had Full Marriage Equality, leaving 13 with it either banned or had some form of partial recognition. Today’s decision affirmed two important issues, 1. “The Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex” and 2. “to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out-of-State.” Meaning just that, anyone who wishes to marry the person they love can do so in any of the 50 States, and the marriage must be recognized by another state if the couple happens to move around the country. This freedom and right has been afford to opposite-sex couples going back to the start of our Great Country.
AVER-GLA is proud to be on the forefront of history and witness Marriage Equality not only in our home State of California, but the entire United States of America. Please join us this evening as we gather as a community in West Hollywood, for the Marriage Equality: Decision Day Rally at West Hollywood Park, 647 N San Vicente Blvd, West Hollywood, California 90069 from 6p-10p. Similar Celebrations will be held around Southern California, in Pasadena SCOTUS Decision Day Rally at the Metro Gold Line Lake Station at 340 N Lake Ave, Pasadena, California 91101 from 6p-? and in Long Beach Day of Decision Long Beach at the Long Beach Civic Center from 5:30p-7:30p. Other Locations around the Country can be found by visiting www.uniteformarriage.org.
As you can see the earth did not swallow the County whole, the skies did not rain hell fire, the world did not end, the sanctity of marriage was not ruined, the lives of children were not threatened, none of the things that the opposition cited occurred. What did happen is couples who truly loved each other were told that their union is not recognized by the Federal Government as well as each and every state in the US. Very shortly we will see benefits and legal rights that were denied to same-sex couples by various States and Government Agencies be afford to each and every citizen of the United States of America.
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Many have asked me what it’s like to live with PTSD and/or what it was like to serve in a combat zone. It’s difficult to explain to someone who had never served, as the experience is unique, and it also effects everyone differently. For some the experience is so traumatic that they literally break down immediately and can never recover, while others go on to live normal everyday lives with little to no impact on their well-being. For the most part many come back with a degree of PTSD. This poem I found recently let’s the world see thru the eyes of the Veteran. I recently shared this with the Los Angeles Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, as I am a vocal Gay Combat Veteran, and felt some of them needed to be educated on what some elements of my everyday life is, as well as many other Veterans.
One thing to think about is LGBT Veterans also face an added layer of anxiety as they also faced discrimination for being who they are. Some of which, like myself, where kicked out of the service for loving someone that the military said was unnatural. This stress along with the stress of surviving combat is something I would never want to wish on my worst enemies. It is however part of wgat makes me the man I am today, and why I have dedicated my adult life to helping my fellow Veterans navigate the hell that is the VA System, and life.
Take a look at the original poem here as well as some of the others on the site that Veterans have written. Their words are a peek into our lives that the world will never truly see…
The Following Are Some of the Feelings That Most Will Never Know
By Robert R.
Today I freaked out in a store where danger was non-existent.
Maybe if I stay up all night doing coke there won’t be any nightmares.
But I can’t go without sleep.
The war is over for me.
I don’t understand why I panic or break out into sweats
or fits of anger.
Today I saw most of my family for the first time in a year.
Nothing felt real; everyone was but a stranger passing by me on a street.
“Dissociation” is the term, I believe.
I feel like my mind has shattered
and that I left my soul in Iraq.
I don’t want to admit that I’m hurting inside.
When my emotions were shut off,
I didn’t get to choose which ones I would keep.
I feel utterly lost.
I used to be strong and proud.
Now all I can think about is what I saw, what I experienced.
Nothing in the world seems to matter beyond that.
I think more now, and when I speak it’s with a sarcastic tone.
Months of feeling dead inside are followed by a week of depression and tears.
I feel weak and frail, my identity and faith shattered.
In “The Odyssey,” Homer asked:
“Must you carry the bloody horror of combat in your heart forever?”
The answer still eludes me.
I encourage everyone who reads these words to really take a moment and take them in. Try and see the world thru the eyes of the reader. May they help you better understand the horror of what living with PTSD is…
This is something to consider for dating someone with PTSD, as they also suffer from most of these. As a Combat Veteran with PTSD, I know first hand how hard it can be to be in a relationship with me. However, if you take the time to look past these problems then it can really be worth the time and effort. So today’s Words of Wisdom is to not judge a person based on their ability or in this case their disability.
People who have a mental disorder such as ADD, ADHD, PTSD, TBI and the list goes on have some social problems, and can be hard to love and/or get to know. Just take the time to scratch the surface and see who is beneath the mental disorder is someone who might just change your life. Who knows he or she might be the one, if you take the time to really get to know the person.
So read the article in the link below and share it with someone you know, knowledge is the key to success: