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When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

For the past 6 months to a year, I have been taking time to concentrate on myself and get on a better path. 2014 was one hell of a year, I’m telling you the struggle was definitely real. 2014, marked 10 years since I was kicked out of the one job I truly loved. I was discharged under the former Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy for loving a man, right after being given a medal for going to war and fighting along side my brothers and sisters. Subconsciously the anniversary of getting kicked out of the Army for being gay was really hitting me hard, and for a long time I was cutting myself off and would stay in bed for weeks on end.  Not good, I know.. Trust me it was not a cute time…

I thought that 2015 would be off to a good start and it started off rough. For a few month my home life was not stable and in July I ended up becoming one of the many Homeless Veterans in LA County. Let me back track a lil… 

One great thing happened in March, I met a great guy.  For privacy let’s just call him, Pup. Pup and I had been friends for several years and on Easter went on our first date. We started dating and a month later we were out eating Tacos at La Estrella in Highland Park and he asked if I wanted to be his boyfriend. Of course I said yes.

Things with Pup were off to a fabulous start then about a month and half ago we hit a rough patch. I noticed he started spending more time with his friends and when we were spending time together we we weren’t as engaged with each other as we were.  This also happened right around the time I became homeless. One could say it was after the honeymoon stage while others would say we weren’t meant to be. I not sure what happened but I can tell you I still care deeply about Pup, hell I still love him. So, a week ago we were out having pie and I confronted him about this and was asking for a  little more attention, I wanted to feel loved. With becoming homeless and trying to figure out life in general I was feeling alone and defeated. Come to find out he claimed to be distant due to my PTSD, I was too reserved and closed off.  I have trouble with intimacy and letting anyone get to know me. I am working on it, however who ever wants to be with me has be willing to go with the ups and downs of living with a Combat Veteran. Gurrrrl, The struggle is real & the devil is a lie! I tell you it can be rough but if you work it out, it can be one of the best loving relationships you will ever have. 

Well we parted ways and it hit me really hard. I lost one of the only good things I had going for me. But you do what you can and roll with the punches. Well, a few days later my buddy the Muscle Cub and I started chatting again. Last year we had went out a few times and when my home life started to fall apart we parted ways but stayed in contact.

This weekend we both were talking and we both have lots of things we are working on and think it might be beneficial to work together and accomplish our life goals. He even asked if I’d be interested in setting down and us eventually become a married couple. I’m seriously considering it, I have been single way to long and would love to have someone to come home to after a long day at work.  It will be nice to share a bed & home with someone I care about, and cares about me. It will be nice to even live with a man that might be interested in starting a family some day, a few dogs, few fish, and even a lil clicking baby or two… You never know…

So there it is, I might be getting married to my best friend. All this right after starting a new job as a VA Contractor a few weeks ago and getting approved for the VA’s Section 8 Program last week. Things are starting to finally look up. It’s true what they say, “One Door Closes, Another Door Opens.”

That’s that, know it is alot to process, will keep y’all posted on how things unfold over next few months. It might be a Christmas wonderland wedding…

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